Brown calls on self to take tough action on knife crime

Today Prime Minister Gordon Brown took the unprecedented step of calling upon himself to “stop dithering and finally do something about the epidemic of knife crime in this country.”

Mr Brown made the interjection at a press conference called after Jermayne Phillips became the 42^nd teenager to be stabbed to death in London this year. Mr Phillips, 17, of Tottenham, was stabbed repeatedly in the teeth while travelling on the 134 bus.

Responding to himself, Mr Brown pledged to “do his utmost to take knives off our streets and put them back in kitchens.” He promised to set up a Stop Stabbing Taskforce to spearhead the new campaign. However, he said that its success would depend on whether he could secure support from himself to make it happen. He added that “the ball was now firmly in his own court.”

Mr Brown was unavailable to comment.